26 February 2007
Monday
Back at work
Bleh
Back to the doctor with Spencer in an hour
Bleh
Enrolled in eDiets.com today
I have already eaten 3/4 of my allowed calories and I am facing starvation
Nothing like yougrt for dinner
And NO WINE. Sucks to yer assmar.
Welcome to Monday
Bleh
Back to the doctor with Spencer in an hour
Bleh
Enrolled in eDiets.com today
I have already eaten 3/4 of my allowed calories and I am facing starvation
Nothing like yougrt for dinner
And NO WINE. Sucks to yer assmar.
Welcome to Monday
24 February 2007
Silly Saturday
SO, I have been stranded at home since Friday Feb. 16, chained down by a very sick kid. Spencer had some version of the flu, plus a massive ear infection that ruptured on Tuesday night but was still leaking nastiness this morning after almost 4 days of antibiotics. Ewwwwww. Poor, poor sad kiddo. I forget sometimes that he's still a little kid! Lucky for you, I didn't take pictures. I was too exhausted. I spent every day trying to take a nap but was hindered by any number of things...it doesn't help at all that there is a house being built across the street and they like to start in with the nail gun any time after 7:00 am. At night, I waited for Spencer to fall asleep and then drank wine like a fish in the hope of self-medicating myself into at least 6 hours of unconciousness, which never happened because God likes to remind those of us who are considering parenthood again that IT SUCKS sometimes. Great birth control!! Anyway, of course, Spencer slept like a log as long as the meds were kicked in! We knew exactly when they wore off because he would sit up like he'd been poked with a cattle prod, and start screaming. He's feeling better now, so his dad came to get him this morning. We were a bit concerned how the weather would be, given that I was receiving "BLIZZARD WARNING" and "STORM WARNING" email notices all yesterday, but not only has it NOT snowed in Boulder today, it has actually been very sunny and quite warm. I guess that, though, just east of Denver, there was a 35-car pileup on I-70 this morning. What a difference a few miles makes in Colorado's weather scheme! Then again, maybe everyone on the road was from Texas or California.
14 February 2007
www.MySurvey.com
feel free to join, it will get me 150 points!
I just took a MySurvey survey (duh), and it asked me where I get my trash bags. There was the standard list of store names, and then there was the option "Other: please explain." I wrote: "I steal them from work."
Now here is my question: are the MySurvey people going to contact the president of my company and snitch on me?
I have a good defense in that *I* am the one who hauls my ass to Costco every other week to buy office stuff -- ON THE WEEKEND, mind you -- and then I have to heave it all upstairs (we have an elevator, but STILL), and unload it, and recycle the boxes. I feel that I am entitled to a few measly trash bags for all this effort. But still I have this weird little nagging itchy thing in the back of my head telling me that I should never have admitted that out loud (as it were). It would be a pretty big dumbass who could get fired for stealing trash bags...so leave it up to me!
I just took a MySurvey survey (duh), and it asked me where I get my trash bags. There was the standard list of store names, and then there was the option "Other: please explain." I wrote: "I steal them from work."
Now here is my question: are the MySurvey people going to contact the president of my company and snitch on me?
I have a good defense in that *I* am the one who hauls my ass to Costco every other week to buy office stuff -- ON THE WEEKEND, mind you -- and then I have to heave it all upstairs (we have an elevator, but STILL), and unload it, and recycle the boxes. I feel that I am entitled to a few measly trash bags for all this effort. But still I have this weird little nagging itchy thing in the back of my head telling me that I should never have admitted that out loud (as it were). It would be a pretty big dumbass who could get fired for stealing trash bags...so leave it up to me!
12 February 2007
Female Trouble
Last night, for any number of reasons (WILL), I couldn't get to sleep. So, I decided to watch the John Waters movie "Female Trouble," starring a bunch of very very bad actors and Divine. There was a lot of penis action going on, including Divine raping himself, though it wasn't really 'rape', per se, because both Divines were enjoying themselves and the girl Divine was a total whore to begin with (not that I'm saying that she ASKED FOR IT or anything, but this IS a John Waters movie -- so all feminists can relax your sphincters now). I think I can make it through my dying day without ever again seeing a naked hippie's flaccid, uncircumsized penis, but regardless, I highly recommend the movie if only to appreciate the severity of the terrible acting. It's quite fabulous where that's concerned.
Here is a good review!
07 February 2007
Laugh til you cry
Spencer and I were lying in bed last night watching the news (AI had just ended), and the weather guy said, "in the morning, fog will be dense in spots"
I said to Spencer, "YOU're dense in spots! This spot in particular" and I rapped him on the head. He started giggling like he was going to say something silly, and he replied, "you're dense in spots, too, right around the crot-ch!" and we both started laughing hysterically because I knew right then that he didn't know what "dense" meant, and he thought he had just made a dirty joke....
So I said, "'Dense' means THICK," and that made the crotch reference even funnier to both of us...after about 5 minutes of shrieking laughter, he said, "I thought it meant WET!" (which, of course I had deduced by that point, but it was too much)
Nothing like a laugh that makes you cry.
I said to Spencer, "YOU're dense in spots! This spot in particular" and I rapped him on the head. He started giggling like he was going to say something silly, and he replied, "you're dense in spots, too, right around the crot-ch!" and we both started laughing hysterically because I knew right then that he didn't know what "dense" meant, and he thought he had just made a dirty joke....
So I said, "'Dense' means THICK," and that made the crotch reference even funnier to both of us...after about 5 minutes of shrieking laughter, he said, "I thought it meant WET!" (which, of course I had deduced by that point, but it was too much)
Nothing like a laugh that makes you cry.
06 February 2007
Wounded Knee
Have you ever broken your kneecap? Well, I have...tonight...on the edge of the bathroom vanity, no less. There were no mafia guys or drug kingpins involved. I was playing with Spencer and biffed in just the right way on the corner of the sink. And I'm here to tell you that it hurts more than anything in the whole world (keep in mind, I have been in labor and birthed a child). It looks like nothing but drove me to my knees crying for about 10 minutes (...actually I was not on my knees -- ouch -- I was laying on the floor screaming), and can ruin the effects of a gorgeous new hairdo. Proof positive! I look like Farrah Fawcett crossed with WC Fields after a heroin binge that left him/her/it with the visage of a boiled cabbage.
P.S. I think that the show House would be a lot better without the House guy. His surly asshole non-doctory attitude got boring after about 15 minutes of the first show. But alas, the remote is across the room and I can't change the channel, so there you go. MUST WATCH HOUSE (where the hell are my drugs???????????????)
P.S. I think that the show House would be a lot better without the House guy. His surly asshole non-doctory attitude got boring after about 15 minutes of the first show. But alas, the remote is across the room and I can't change the channel, so there you go. MUST WATCH HOUSE (where the hell are my drugs???????????????)
29 January 2007
My Birfday
I am frick-frackin' OLD. Jeeeeeeezus. Take me now...I'm comin' Elizabeth!!
The loveliness awaiting me at home:
After one glass of champagne:
The rejects:
The loveliness awaiting me at home:
After one glass of champagne:
The rejects:
17 January 2007
Judy Judy Judy
A bowl-scrubbing chimp...what a concept!
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. -- An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator.
The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped yesterday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.
As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took a swig from bottles she managed to open.
Keeper Ann Rademacher says Judy went into the bathroom, picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet. Rademacher says the 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before the zoo acquired her in 1988, so she may have been familiar with housekeeping chores. Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.
It took a couple of tries, but the zoo sedated the chimp, who fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.
The zoo veterinarian gave Judy a drug to bring her around. Rademacher says Judy was groggy but fine after the episode.
The zoo says there was no danger Judy would get out of the primate keepers service area and onto zoo grounds.
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. -- An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator.
The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped yesterday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.
As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took a swig from bottles she managed to open.
Keeper Ann Rademacher says Judy went into the bathroom, picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet. Rademacher says the 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before the zoo acquired her in 1988, so she may have been familiar with housekeeping chores. Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.
It took a couple of tries, but the zoo sedated the chimp, who fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.
The zoo veterinarian gave Judy a drug to bring her around. Rademacher says Judy was groggy but fine after the episode.
The zoo says there was no danger Judy would get out of the primate keepers service area and onto zoo grounds.
10 January 2007
I just remembered something SO stupid and SO random that I had to jot it down.
Okay, so in college I had a huge cold sore on my chin, and in class this guy asked me what it was. When I told him it was a "cold sore thingy," he said, "how the hell do you get herpes on your CHIN?"
And I responded, "well, DUH, I practice really safe sex!"
And then I proceeded to laugh hystercially for like 10 minutes even though it wasn't really funny. i was just embarrassed that I had a ginormous herpe on my chin.
Why I thought of that is a mystery, though it may ultimately have something to do with the gross cold sore that I'm sporting on my bottom lip right now. Look how UGLY this is! Lucky for me that my boyfriend is blind. Please pardon the straight-up-the-nose shot...and if you are a sharpie and happen to notice the red spot on my nose, it's a cat wound. Stupid cat.
Oh, and my kid is a weirdo. Yes, those are my maroon cowboy boots, and YES he is wearing leggings and a Black Sabbath t-shirt. Oy.
Okay, so in college I had a huge cold sore on my chin, and in class this guy asked me what it was. When I told him it was a "cold sore thingy," he said, "how the hell do you get herpes on your CHIN?"
And I responded, "well, DUH, I practice really safe sex!"
And then I proceeded to laugh hystercially for like 10 minutes even though it wasn't really funny. i was just embarrassed that I had a ginormous herpe on my chin.
Why I thought of that is a mystery, though it may ultimately have something to do with the gross cold sore that I'm sporting on my bottom lip right now. Look how UGLY this is! Lucky for me that my boyfriend is blind. Please pardon the straight-up-the-nose shot...and if you are a sharpie and happen to notice the red spot on my nose, it's a cat wound. Stupid cat.
Oh, and my kid is a weirdo. Yes, those are my maroon cowboy boots, and YES he is wearing leggings and a Black Sabbath t-shirt. Oy.
05 January 2007
Proof of Global Warming....
No, these are not duplicates of the photos I have posted for the past three weeks. It has happened AGAIN. Shoot me now (or shoot me a ticket to the islands...) Through this most recent nightmare, I have doggedly held to my no-drinking resolve. What is WRONG with me?!?? We're walking downtown to Rhumba for cheap happy hour eats this afternoon (after skipping work, oh well), and I may have to break down and have a Mojito Lite (no simple syrup, just club soda and rum and mint). It is Friday, after all.
04 January 2007
Ah, the Joys of Modern Medicine
Back when I worked in the medical field, I heard the truth about the origins of female hormone replacement therapy remedies (menopause drugs) and how they were obtained from pregnant horses. Read about it HERE
They are no longer selling as much of this crap since it has been proven that swallowing the condensed urine of pregnant horses is not a good thing for old ladies. Hence, the horses and the resultant foals are now the ones suffering -- even more so than they were when they were pinned into stalls, pregnant, and being held hostage for something as ridiculous as their PEE. And people in the "third world" are the wild savage heathens?!? (Think: ground-up dried gorilla hands make you more virile, or sun bear bladders give you a 3-day boner.) WHATEVER!! ANyhoo, now the horses are being sold for slaughter. Makes me want to cry when I think of forcing a beautiful animal to spend its life strapped up in a little booth and pissing in a bottle so that one of our own doesn't have to experience hot flashes. Humans suck.
Do something about it at WWW.PMURESCUE.ORG (for whatever reason, Blogger doesn't like the link...)
They are no longer selling as much of this crap since it has been proven that swallowing the condensed urine of pregnant horses is not a good thing for old ladies. Hence, the horses and the resultant foals are now the ones suffering -- even more so than they were when they were pinned into stalls, pregnant, and being held hostage for something as ridiculous as their PEE. And people in the "third world" are the wild savage heathens?!? (Think: ground-up dried gorilla hands make you more virile, or sun bear bladders give you a 3-day boner.) WHATEVER!! ANyhoo, now the horses are being sold for slaughter. Makes me want to cry when I think of forcing a beautiful animal to spend its life strapped up in a little booth and pissing in a bottle so that one of our own doesn't have to experience hot flashes. Humans suck.
Do something about it at WWW.PMURESCUE.ORG (for whatever reason, Blogger doesn't like the link...)
02 January 2007
Oo-oo Chiiiiild, things are gonna get easier...
Stupid snow. I could handle it if we didn't have ANY MORE for the whole rest of the season!
Bright note: we got a new trash can for the kitchen. Spencer found a novel use for the box...
The Beginning...
The End...
Bright note: we got a new trash can for the kitchen. Spencer found a novel use for the box...
The Beginning...
The End...
26 December 2006
3. Cats
Peep is old, and Pudge is a FREAK. Peep will not be here next Christmas, perhaps not even until my birthday, so Spencer took some pictures of him for posterity. Pudge is obsessed with tissue paper and has dragged it all over the house to create little nests. When he caught me photographing him in a nest last night, he got all pissed off and stomped away from his new bed.
I believe it was he who took a crap on the kitchen floor today.
PEEP
PEEP
PUDGE ASLEEP
PUDGE AWAKE AND MAD
PUDGE GONE
I believe it was he who took a crap on the kitchen floor today.
PEEP
PEEP
PUDGE ASLEEP
PUDGE AWAKE AND MAD
PUDGE GONE
2. Christmas
I only have a few photos, since we let the kids take the all with their new digital cameras. Spencer took lots of pictures of the TV, which I will NOT be posting! These are all of Xmas Eve...yes, it SNOWED again!
1. Snowstorm
HOLIDAY BLIZZARD 2006!!!
GAWD, how I despise the drama of the media! It snowed, okay? It snowed a LOT, but it just snowed. It wasn't a blizzard in Boulder because it wasn't windy, but we got a good three feet. Check out the golf club that Will is holding on the patio table! The darker photo (click to enlarge) is of Ron's cars, which are parked across the alley. Sometimes snow sucks. The forecast is already calling for another storm on Thursday...I don't remember having so much seasonal snow EVER in Boulder, and it's only December!
GAWD, how I despise the drama of the media! It snowed, okay? It snowed a LOT, but it just snowed. It wasn't a blizzard in Boulder because it wasn't windy, but we got a good three feet. Check out the golf club that Will is holding on the patio table! The darker photo (click to enlarge) is of Ron's cars, which are parked across the alley. Sometimes snow sucks. The forecast is already calling for another storm on Thursday...I don't remember having so much seasonal snow EVER in Boulder, and it's only December!
21 December 2006
Socked In...
yeah, we're snowed in!! Biggest storm of the century, or some nonsense. Spencer, Will and I trudged to the neighborhood English pub and spent a lot of money eating and enjoying hot beverages. On the way home, I had a great time shoving Spencer into snow drifts (4 feet high!). I have photos and will post them as soon as I get my usb cord from the office.
CHRISTINE: I am SO SORRY that you're stuck in DIA hell!! We love you! Hopefully you will run into any number of my co-workers, who are probably stuck there as well. Merry Christmas!
CHRISTINE: I am SO SORRY that you're stuck in DIA hell!! We love you! Hopefully you will run into any number of my co-workers, who are probably stuck there as well. Merry Christmas!
18 December 2006
Worth Reading
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn't supposed
to ever let you down probably will. You will have
your heart broken
probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break
hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was
broken. You'll
fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new
love for things an
old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too
fast, and you'll
eventually lose someone you love. So take too many
pictures, laugh
too much, and love like you've never been hurt
because every sixty
seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness
you'll never get
back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid
that it will never begin.
~anonymous~
that wasn't supposed
to ever let you down probably will. You will have
your heart broken
probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break
hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was
broken. You'll
fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new
love for things an
old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too
fast, and you'll
eventually lose someone you love. So take too many
pictures, laugh
too much, and love like you've never been hurt
because every sixty
seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness
you'll never get
back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid
that it will never begin.
~anonymous~
15 December 2006
I think too much
I'm re-thinking my stance of "NO CONTACT" post-moveout. Am I a dumbass or what? It's just that I can't imagine completely losing someone who has been my best friend for the past 18 months. It's not like he's moving to another country. We will run into each other some time, somewhere. And I want to be able to be happy for him when he finds someone who suits him better than I do. But not quite yet. I have never been the jealous sort, but I really need the burn to wear off this time before I can be a gracious ex. It sucks a royal donkey ball that it took me until now to realize that I should have paid more attention to what was going on right in front of me (and inside of me, too). Sorry, Will, I messed up.
Here is an email that Erika sent me, edited version. It contains some info that is "too true":
Whatthefuck is going on in the universe? How can there be all this information, love, good news, potential, etc, just sitting there in front of us and we can't see it? How can you wait your whole life for a marriage proposal from a really nice guy and then be told that you missed it somehow!? I feel like screaming for you and all of us who are so distracted by day to day boredom that we can't see what's being offered to us.
If it's true that you would have and still would say "yes" tho, then you could have been even more blatant about it. An "I love you" never hurts either, if its true (you said last week that you werent in love with him because you were too depressed to feel that way about anyone...)
I just feel horrible for you. Its fucking Christmas. Are you ok? Did you expect "the talk" to turn out some other way? Maybe you can get counselling for yourself to figure this stuff out. If he's the guy for you, then 6 months from now when you have some perspective, he still will be.
Anyway, I want everyone to be in a happy relationship. Its really hard work, but kinda the only thing that matters at the end of the day. How much love and time is there after all?
Here is an email that Erika sent me, edited version. It contains some info that is "too true":
Whatthefuck is going on in the universe? How can there be all this information, love, good news, potential, etc, just sitting there in front of us and we can't see it? How can you wait your whole life for a marriage proposal from a really nice guy and then be told that you missed it somehow!? I feel like screaming for you and all of us who are so distracted by day to day boredom that we can't see what's being offered to us.
If it's true that you would have and still would say "yes" tho, then you could have been even more blatant about it. An "I love you" never hurts either, if its true (you said last week that you werent in love with him because you were too depressed to feel that way about anyone...)
I just feel horrible for you. Its fucking Christmas. Are you ok? Did you expect "the talk" to turn out some other way? Maybe you can get counselling for yourself to figure this stuff out. If he's the guy for you, then 6 months from now when you have some perspective, he still will be.
Anyway, I want everyone to be in a happy relationship. Its really hard work, but kinda the only thing that matters at the end of the day. How much love and time is there after all?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)