30 March 2008

Pity party

Yeah, I'm right in the middle of a big festive gala that I threw for myself. You should see all the presents I've gotten so far - a haggard face, wine wine and more wine, headaches, fitfulness and insomnia. How on earth do I refuse to recognize that the party is over? It's beyond me. I'm usually the one saying, "you deserve better, get off your ass and the dump this MF'in loser"! WTF? Ouch.

To prove that I'm not completely suicidal or otherwise mentally ill, here are some cheery photos of my visit to Oxford, Ohio, land of the Circle Bar and very dirty alleyways.

We saw this note on a car at Kroger's. The best thing about it was the two hot blondes who got out of the next car and said, "what are you DOing??" when I was taking the picture. They then proceeded to discuss for 10 minutes why we thought it was funny. Welcome to the Valley, girls.

The bar at Mac & Joe's.

Erika and me (why do I look so fat??)

"Darryl is my ghetto pirate" - photo of Daryl to follow sometime soon! (he is indeed the main ghetto pirate)

Random people in the bar at the Minneapolis airport Chili's. Hold for another post with a very bizarre story that happened in that same bar. It deserves its own post.

28 March 2008

Yeah, so...

I still have this MFSoabAHole of a boyfriend..and tonight he informed me that - wow! - he has a "second job"at a titty bar. OMG, this is a man who is BRILLIANT. WTF?? Why all the acronyms? Anyhoo, I threw the phone across the room and I am so proud of myself. (LOL)

And now I'm going to see a reggae band and I'm going to try to dance with someone fun who is not a complete asshole. AND, YES, I am completely DONE with Mister GROWTHEFUCKUPALREADY. Yay me.

P.S. Big shout out to my O-town pals!!!

18 March 2008

Typical Conversation

Spencer: "My stomach feels weird."

Me: "Do you have to poop?"

Spencer: "No. My bowels are still."

17 March 2008

Madmen and Snowstorms and Memes - LONG POST

1. Last night we were "supposed" to get a major snowstorm. One that would paralyze the universe and force us to beckon the Martians to come dig us out. Okay, not that big, but still significant. It was a fizzler on the Boulder end...we got about 5 inches but nothing stuck to the streets, which is usually just how I like it but I was a little pissed this time because I'm raring to try out my new snow tires. It will be a true miracle of God if I can just ONCE pull out of our alley onto the 9th Street hill (don't go look at a map, you'll never find me!) without causing a major traffic jam. What always happens is that I can get no traction and then 8000 cars come speeding up behind me at 90 mph hoping to grab the momentum that will let them get uphill in their $70K SUVs. What they don't understand is that the $70K they spent entitles them to get up snowy hills without going 40 miles over the speed limit in the process. If this isn't happening, they need to re-think their investments. Anyhoo, what transpires is that everyone gets mad at me and I have to either back up into the alley or turn left and go downhill. Either way they all hate me because I don't have a $70K SUV, and they can all suck it.

2. This morning, right down the street at Boulder Community Hospital, a man showed up in a wheelchair (he is not disabled) and said that he had a bomb strapped to his oxygen tank. There was a standoff, etc etc, and he ended up taking a metal plug to the chest, compliments of Boulder's overworked and underpaid SWAT team (yeah, that was sarcastic). So they had to block off the streets and traffic is all wonky and the 'hood was in a uproar with all the media. I wasn't there (I was actually at the other hospital getting Spencer's cough checked out - he's fine), but it seems to me that it could have been handled differently. As in, the guy DIDN'T HAVE A GUN, and the "bomb" is questionable. Go to THE DENVER CHANNELfor updates.

Here is a really long meme (I still don't know what that means):

1. Where is the person who owns your heart now?
I have no idea. The one who owns my heart in a different way is down the street playing Wii.

2. What did you do last night?
WTF do I do EVERY night?? I built a fire, drank some wine, watched stupid TV and went to sleep far too late.

3. What does your myspace name mean?
It’s just my ol’ boring first name.

4. Last person you text messaged?

5. Who was the last person to call you?

6. What are you doing right now?
Listening to my washer squeak and dreading the fact that I have to go to the laundromat to dry everything because my dryer broke last Friday.

7. What is your current problem?
Work, relationship, messy house, cold weather, bored (I could go on and on, but then you'd accuse me of being a whiner..LOL).

8. What color are your eyes?
Depends on what I'm wearing. Grayish, greenish, bluish.

9. What is your myspace song?
I don't have one, but I should shuffle through some friends' music.

11. Last place you ordered food from?
The deli at SuperTarget

12. Who was the last person you shared a bed with?

13. What color is your hair?
Dark blonde.

14. Last song you sang?
"It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" because now it's stuck in my head, thank you very much.

15. Would you ever get back with your ex?
Loaded question...the one I currently still see? Yes. The one before that? Yes. The one before that? NO. {shudder}

16. Who knows a secret or two about you?
Everyone. I have a blog and I'm a blabbermouth.

17. Last time you did something you shouldn’t have done?
Last night.

18. Who do you miss?
Erika, Tara, my family, Rob, grandmas

19. Next movie you will see in theaters?
Not sure, but we saw Horton Hears a Who yesterday. It was okay.

20. What is your favorite drink?
Ice-cold water

21. What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?
Jeans during the day, sweats at night (yoga pants, really).

25. Where are most of your clothes from?
Everywhere . . .

28. Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt it.

30. Have any regrets?
Plenty. No elaboration, sorry, it's too depressing.

31. Who would you go to for sports trivia answers?

32. Where were you 8 hours ago?
In the shower (I didn't go to work today).

35. Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than as a friend?

37. What did you do last weekend?
Friday went to happy hour, Saturday a birthday party (Johnny turned 50), Sunday brunch at the St. Julien with Will, then drove to Denver and back, and finally saw Horton Hears a Who with Spencer.

38.What Football team do you favor?
I'm a Broncos fan because the two Ohio teams suck. College, I'll watch anything but Ohio State is #1.

47. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Staring at the TV wondering why the hell I was still awake.

48. What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
Called school and work to tell them that I have a sick kid and we wouldn't be going anywhere but the doctor's office.

49. Who will you be with this Sunday night?
Erika and the Oxford crowd!! Probably a tad hungover after going to see BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE on Saturday night in Cincinnati.

50. Who was the last person you hugged?

51. If you took a drug test would you pass it?

52. Is tomorrow going to be good?
I hope so.

53. Do you know anyone named Dan?
Yes, quite a few people, all of whom have nothing in common besides the name DAN.

54. How many myspace friends do you have?

55. Do or did you like school?
Not after 8th grade. I look back and wish that I had kept going to a private school, where I might have had more guidance.

56. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
A select few.

57. Where would you like to live?
Anywhere warm and sunny. In luxury.

58. Are you a good gf/bf?
No. I'm wishy-washy, and I can't bring myself to gush lovingly about my partner in public. Also, I'm not jealous or demanding where my man is concerned (I don't let it show outwardly, I mean), and I think this often comes off as disinterested. I am way too willing to do all the work, too, which then turns into resentment on my part. Oy, I SUCK as a gf!

60. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Same shit, different day, is the pessimistic version. On a good day, I hope that in 5 years I will be the proud parent of a successful teenager with a new driver's license, a better job, and a loving partner by my side. And OLD. No matter how it turns out, I will be OLD.

10 March 2008

Here it is - the SHIZ!!

Random trip to Marshall's on Friday...
Lovely pink wool designer sweater/jacket...
Afraid to look at price tag...
(click on the price tag and look closely)

There isn't one single flaw on this piece of clothing...I checked every inch. Also got a pair of bronzy suede gaucho-type pants ($3, originally $150) and a lovely black shirt ($35 from $282). What a bargain.

Bargain of the YEAR

It figures that I'm FINALLY posting and the stupid Google server is down so that I can't add pictures. Dang. Anyhoo, I have something wonderful to share as soon as Blogger.com gets their shit together.

Any suggestions about how to kill a sinus infection FAST? I have one that's so painful I literally grab my face every time something in my head starts throbbing. It's giving me a fever, too. Don't suggest antibiotics because they don't work. I may resort to sitting at my desk with an ice pack taped to my forehead, which I'm sure will amuse my co-workers to no end.

On a completely unrelated note: have you ever made a noise in the bathroom at work that you are certain has echoed like a foghorn throughout the entire office, deafening everyone in the process? And, worse, have you ever made one of those noises but it WASN'T actually the result of a foul bodily function, yet you just *know* that all of your co-workers heard it, mistook it as being caused by a genetic physiological defect passed down by your mutant great-aunt Mildred, and henceforth the office talks about you behind your back as "you know, THAT one"?? Oy.