YAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYY! Taylor won! He actually WON! How weird that I met his friends last winter and they were amazed that he even got on the show, not because of his talent but because he's a nutball...and here he is, the NEXT AMERICAN IDOL, up there with Gayken, who, by the way, was the gayest of all gays on the show tonight. Gayken's number one fan -- some freak who never made it past the first round -- was on the show because he won an award for being the biggest freak of all (that is not gay-ist, by the way), and he just MIGHT be slightly gayer than Gayken, but whatever. I would put a picture of Taylor here right now but all the websites are jammed up...
I discovered a weight loss program today. I'll call it FAT CYNDY'S FATTY FATNESS WEIGHT LOSS PLAN. Here it is (I should charge for this, but I'm trying to redeem myself for the ticket to hell I bought today for saying that Miss Cornelia could squish someone like a bug (see below)): 1) Get someone to take a picture of you, white-skinned, in winter, wearing a bathing suit, sitting by the pool, side-view, in Orlando. 2) Look at that picture. You will never eat anything again, I promise you. Shit.
24 May 2006
Ummm...why did she bother with the can??
No one that big needs to use a can of Raid to clobber anyone or anything! She should have just jumped on them...but then she's be charged with capital murder instead of mere assault! (Yes, I'm going to hell on the express bus for saying that, but I don't care. It's funny.)
Police: Wife Attacks Husband, Mistress With Bug Spray Can
ATHENS, Ala. -- An Alabama woman is accused of turning a can of bug spray on her cheating husband and the other woman.
Cornelia Cottrell Smith, 26, faces a charge of domestic violence. Police Sgt. Trevor Harris said a "nosy neighbor" called Smith at work to say her husband was with another woman in the couple's apartment. The woman left work and went home where she found the two together.
Officers said Smith grabbed a can of Raid and clobbered the cheating pair. She's charged with hitting both her husband and the other woman in the head with the insecticide. Police said the woman needed stitches for a head wound, and the husband was also cut but didn't require medical treatment.
Smith has been released after posting $1,000 bond.
Police: Wife Attacks Husband, Mistress With Bug Spray Can
ATHENS, Ala. -- An Alabama woman is accused of turning a can of bug spray on her cheating husband and the other woman.
Cornelia Cottrell Smith, 26, faces a charge of domestic violence. Police Sgt. Trevor Harris said a "nosy neighbor" called Smith at work to say her husband was with another woman in the couple's apartment. The woman left work and went home where she found the two together.
Officers said Smith grabbed a can of Raid and clobbered the cheating pair. She's charged with hitting both her husband and the other woman in the head with the insecticide. Police said the woman needed stitches for a head wound, and the husband was also cut but didn't require medical treatment.
Smith has been released after posting $1,000 bond.
18 May 2006
TayLOR TayLOR TayLOR
He's gonna win. Anyhoo...I have new photos but forgot my cable to download them. I guess I'll have to do it from home, on my own time...geesh. Isn't that what work is for, to do your private business and get paid for it?!? :-)
Reminder to self:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Reminder to self:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
08 May 2006
04 May 2006
New Home...
Here's our new duplex. Upgrades to be made and it's too small, but whatever, we can't afford a palace in the Boulder housing market! (Note to all rich single men who are passably goodlooking and have at least a small number of brain cells dedicated to something other than ogling pretty women and snorting blow: LET'S TALK!) :-)
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