30 July 2007

Chappelle's Show - Prince vs Charlie Murphy

This is too freakin funny. I watched it like three times in a row and was screaming every time.

29 July 2007

Kittens Gone Crazy

Our kittens might just possibly be the cutest animals EVER. They do all the hideously inappropriate kitten things: scramble around the house all night like beasts gone mad, and climb the screens, and jump on the table to eat our food, and attack anything that moves. I could go on...wow, I guess that kittens are really just cute little pains in the ass! Pudge has now figured out what they are, and he is NOT happy about it. He routinely hisses and slaps at them when they try to make him the Baby Daddy and suckle on him (they don't know he's a boy, I think). Aw HELL no, he ain't takin none of that shit! It's pretty funny to watch him try to resist their kitten charm.

The best thing lately is that Jethro has discovered the cursor on my laptop. He sits on the desk next to the computer and tilts his head to one side and goes apeshit when I move the cursor to the bottom of the screen, because he can't find it anymore and apparently assumes that it went out the back side of the computer. So then he leaps back there and starts meowing frantically and sticking his head around to check out the screen again. Typical baby behavior, I suppose, but usually it's reserved for HUMAN babies!

Next best: last night I came in the house and saw Fergie dart across the living room with two orange foam earplugs sticking out of either side of her mouth like tusks.

This is stuff that I can't get pictures of, sadly, because it all happens too fast!

Note to self: remember that this weekend is when the mosquito bite swelled your upper lip to the size of the biggest baddest Ubangi in the jungle.

23 July 2007

Water Fun -- and Fergie

You have to click on the pictures to see the detail, FYI.

Monday: funny Fergie picture...she actually stayed with her back legs like that for about 10 minutes, while she was holding Pudge's foot. It was really cute. And a picture of them all being lazy together. I'm now okay with leaving them alone for 36 hours while we're in Aspen.

click on the pic below to see Maliq on the corner with the sign!

Spencer, Brianna and Maliq had a car wash on Sunday. They were mildly successful. Maliq got scared right after this picture and refused to return to his post on the corner holding the sign....the cops drove by and he was convinced that they would arrest him if he stayed there holding his sign. Too funny. My house has been like a living Benetton ad all weekend...LOL

Maija, Gilroy, Indra and Zeke came over to hang out on Saturday, and Zeke spent the night. It was so frikkin hot that the kids played in the water all day. Apparently, it was to become a theme for the weekend!

21 July 2007


She's Fergalicious!! Okay, just Fergie...and you can see her swirls in this one (click on it)...I can't believe she sat still so long! More on Jethro to come.

17 July 2007

DOG? Who needs a DOG?

We looked at a couple of dogs (including a black lab named Teal who is SO FAT that her vagina prolapsed and popped out. Not the most pleasant thing, but it will go away and she is SO SWEET.) Ahem, instead, we ended up with two little bitty 12-week black kittens instead. They're both semi-feral (one, the girl, moreso than the boy) and they must come from the planet Spitfire because they have been chasing each other up and down the stairs and around the couch, and they are having NOTHING to do with Pudge. When we first got home from the Humane Society, I opened the box with Pudge standing there, and one of the kittens hissed and spit and stuck a clawed foot right out of the box. HAH! Paybacks are certainly going to be a bitch for Pudge who, 12 years ago when I brought him home, immediately tried to kill Peep -- some 7 years and 24 pounds his senior -- and freaked Peep right the hell out. Remains to be seen, as I need to get these two calmed down enough to let me take a picture, let alone meet Pudge! I got a couple of shots but can't tell you who's who. I'll do better next time, I promise. Little Man is asleep on the steps and Little Girl will NOT sleep, even though the HS sent her bed with her because apparently she usually never gets out of it. I haven't seen her look at it once since we got home. OH, and they both pooped in their box already! Woo Hoo!
Normally I would not get one kitten, let alone two, but I doubt that Pudge would tolerate a grown cat in the house without many a blood-curdling, fur-flying, emotionally devastating encounter -- plus, they had so many kittens at the HS that the price was marked down from $145 to $25 each. We almost got a third, a teeny-weeny named Commander Zim, who is 8 weeks old and the runt and SO CUTE. I might go get him tomorrow. Hell, what's one more?? Plus, he is SO CUTE. I just looked at his picture online again and got teary. SO CUTE.

Boy = Jethro (the name the HS gave him, which we think is cute and also apropos since Will bought Jethro Tull tickets today)
Girl = ??? They named her McMonagle, because she has faint swirling visible under her fur (like a black panther in the sun), and for some reason that is a Scottish trait (or something), but I'm not a fan of that name.

Suggestions? So far, we have come up with Minstrel and Velvet, and Elly Mae. She is SO not an Elly mae, though.

16 July 2007

Dead Cold Duck

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My Daily Dose...

of "You Are Inadequate":

In my inbox this morning:

"Cynthia, I am so sorry. My schedule got really messed
up today and I didn't get your message until late this
evening. It was great to meet you both. I have decided
to pursue another family for Mea. I really hope you
find a great dog for your family. Hope all is well and
that you had a great weekend. Take care. marc"

So we're not getting the dog. Spencer's dad drove him up yesterday afternoon for the express purpose of meeting Mea at 3 pm. When the owner didn't return my phone calls, you can imagine the drama that built up. Spencer was heart-broken. And when I had to call him this morning to say that the dog is going to another family, I thought he was going to die sobbing. A bit over the top, perhaps, since he has never actually met the dog, but I think he sensed my excitement. So, yet again, my little boy has been crushed by the Dog That Was Not To Be. I keep reminding him that we really don't want to go through another episode of "the wrong pet," but it isn't much consolation.
Deep down, I think that Mea's owner is keeping her. She really is a great dog and a beautiful animal.

12 July 2007


Update: Mea is a GORGEOUS animal! Even Will thinks so. She's totally clumsy (she fell down the steps when we first went in the house!) unless she's running, at which point she transforms into a graceful, almost horse-like creature. Oh, and she SHEDS. A LOT. And did I mention that she's BIG?? BIG. Three feet long and about as high. Eye-to-eye with any 5-year-old she meets. But she's well-trained, well-loved, very gentle, and can go off-leash at the dog park without running away. Imagine! wishwishwishwish that we get her! Spencer's meeting her on Sunday afternoon. Another update ahead!! (and, if we do end up being her people, I'm changing the spelling of her name to Mia)

Here's the dog I'm looking at getting:

Her name is Mea, and she's a LEONBERGER

Will says that if I get a dog, he's leaving. Anyone looking to rent a room?? Apparently I will have a free one soon.

09 July 2007

Anyone? Bueller??

Can anyone tell me why my supposedly "regular" zucchini (the slender, green kind) looks like THIS???? (FYI, both fruit are about 6 inches long and the big one is about 10 inches around at the thickest part) Maybe I planted it too close to a yellow squash plant??? The only other squash nearby is spaghetti, and I was told that they will never cross-pollinate since one's a winter (spag) and one's a summer (zuke) variety.

*Hatchet, I don't know if you actually even read this blog, but you seem to know an awful lot about gardening, so if you're here, any advice is welcome!!

Gardening success: I nabbed this (along with 4 other 14" hanging baskets!) from the dumpster behind a flower shop about 4 weeks ago. Check it out....a little love and flower food got me this (the others are almost as impressive):

The Anonymous Blog vs. I AM A BIG FAT BITCH Blog

Okay, so I have been feeling guilty since I wrote about and posted photos of the spider on my neck. Red Flashlight sent me the lovely comment about how the dying spider (yeah, yeah) was a "poor creature" and I wrote back that I just wanted the little fucker to die. [If I had any idea how to link to a previous blog entry, I would, but for now you just have to go find it.]

THIS right here is a good reason why having an anoymous blog is cool...because Mr/s Red wouldn't know that I am an actual human being who may or may not know someone he/she knows in real life, I wouldn't have to worry about it, either, but now I have taken the form in some random person's head as being an awful human being who mercilessly allows small *things* to die slow and ugly deaths. Never mind the fact that, had that arachnid touched me again in any way, shape or form, I would have screamed so loud that Jesus incarnate would have come down out of the sky and punched me in the face repeatedly until I shut up. Nor the fact that Mr Mangulated got up and left his "dying" place (ostensibly to go to the basement...you know the story).

I'm not scared of spiders, or any insects, nor do I wish them any harm, but this thing was ON MY NECK, unbeknownst to me, and when I touched it, I freaked to the ultimate of freakdom. YUCK. I cannot say it often enough or loud enough (sorry, Jesus)...YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. YUCKYUCKYUCKYUCKYUCK

ANyhoo, I apologize to everyone and every creature and Jesus and my dead grandmothers. There, I have been absolved.

08 July 2007


"You have more rolls than a pastry truck!" ~ Spencer, age 10 to me, his long-suffering mother. There's nothing so conflicting as having a really sharp-witted child.

Above statement was immediately retracted, of course.

02 July 2007

Sunday on the Mall

Yesterday, I was being my usual drunken summer self and went to the Pub for some company. I met two very lovely women from New York who are in town teaching at the Summer Writing Program at Naropa. We sat and discussed everything from Sugar Mamas to the Marley sons. I have swiped their images from the Naropa website, mostly just because if they're famous I want to remember that I met them!!

Tisa Bryant
Tisa Bryant’s writings, Unexplained Presence and Tzimmes, traverse the boundaries of genre, culture, and history. She is currently reworking [the curator], a meditation on identity, cinema and the lost films of imaginary auteur Justine Cable. She teaches at St. John’s University, Queens, lives in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, and is a founding editor/publisher of the hardcover annual, The Encyclopedia Project.

Akilah Oliver
New College of California
Akilah Oliver is a poet and performance artist. Her most recent publication is An Arriving Guard of Angels Thusly Coming to Greet (Farfalla, McMillan & Parrish, 2004). She is also the author of the she said dialogues: flesh memory, a book of experimental prose poetry honored by the PEN American Center’s “Open Book” program. She has read and performed her work throughout the country as a solo artist and as a founding member of the post-feminist performance arts collective, Sacred Naked Nature Girls. She has been artist in residence at Beyond Baroque Literary Arts Center in Los Angeles, and has received grants from the California Arts Council, The Flintridge Foundation and the Rockefeller Foundation. She currently teaches at the University of Colorado, Boulder. She teaches poetry and cross-genre writing workshops and courses in critical theory and cultural and literary studies.

01 July 2007

WTF do you do when it's 98 degrees?

I tried everything...cleaning the house in prep for Bash 2007, finishing the kitchen paint, doing laundry, gardening (geeez, that was MISERABLE!), hanging up clothes in my bedroom (even hotter than the garden was), etc. My final answer: go sit on a patio somewhere, order a big tall blueberry Stoli and soda, pull out the American Spirits, and look for cute guys to make the boyfriend jealous.
For those of you in Finland who could not hear it, the b/f and I had a STELLAR argument last night, the result of which includes a video of his snoring drunk ass (soon to be posted!) and my engagement rings being deposited in his underwear drawer. I'm pretty sure that he remembers nothing of the evening's events. Charming. The video's pretty sweet. You know what? I'm going to try to figure out how to post a video RIGHT NOW. Crap, I can't figure it out...hints???

For RedFlashlight: no animals (including arachnids) were harmed during the filming. :-)