30 March 2007


CLASSIC!!....click on the picture and look closely...

Penis gourd update...

Check this out: YIKES

It gets worse...

I guess I should shut up now...after all, she did lose 44 pounds. Then again, I have GAINED 44 pounds and it only took me three years. This fact was confirmed by my doctor yesterday. Maybe I should consult Courtney abotu her diet plan (crack and Diet Coke, I'm sure).

29 March 2007


"I have 6 pounds more to lose, maybe 11"

WTF??? Yikes, what is WRONG with Courtney Love??! I mean, we all want to lose a few pounds, but she looks like she might fall into a cartoon heap of dust at her own feet and just blow away. I mean, you can see her internal organs!! Plus, what's up with her FACE? SHe looks like she has a past in professional boxing...

28 March 2007

Ruminating on Penis Gourds

From an email exchange this morning:

"Sheep have penis sheathes? Do they look like the penis gourds that tribal men wear? Yeesh. I saw this show once where a white guy went to Africa and hung out with some warrior tribal people and they tried to make him wear a penis gourd. Apparently, you have to twist your wiener into a little spiral and shove it in there, and once it's in, it unwinds itself like those squishy earplugs. Anyway, the guy was crying almost immediately and so they didn't make him do it in the end."

I will try to find more on this subject and add to the post later. Maybe I can even find a picture! Woo Hoo!!

27 March 2007


Last night, Spencer and I were at the store. In the check-out line, we were perusing all the magazines because that's what you do when you're waiting in line.
There were two mags with Anna Nicole on the covers; on one, she was all dressed up and skinny and wearing make-up, and in the other she had just had her baby and was all sweaty and make-up free.
The main thing that struck me was that her lips were HUGE in the baby picture compared to the older photo. So I said to Spencer, "wow, she looks really different in these two photos!"
He looked closely at the pictures, and in a totally serious voice, he pointed at the older picture and said, "Yeah, her mustache is MUCH darker in this one."
I thought that the check-out guy was going to poop his pants.

Top, big lips (but not as big as the actual photo)
Bottom, skinny lips.


26 March 2007

How cute is THIS?!

In my inbox this morning:

From: "Spencer LINDSTROM"
To: mermaidisland@msn.com
Subject: HELLO
Date: Sat, 24 Mar 2007 18:48:37 +0000

Hi mom do you have a msn messanger profile? If so, we can talk on the weekends.

09 March 2007

Yo Dawg

I can’t believe that Sabrina was voted off, and that Haley girl is still around. She sucks. Okay, that's mean. She's NOT GOOD.
And then there is the issue of Sanjaya. The Gayness That Is SANJAYA. Am I wrong, or is he the gayest thing since Waylon and Madam?? Gay doesn’t come much gayer than that, and he’s only 17! He hasn’t even NEARED his full gayness yet. Now, if you know me, you know I LOVES my gays, so you can only imagine how much I am looking forward to Sanjaya in his prime. I didn't think Sundance was all that good, like, not good enough to scream out, "GIVE ME MORE HEAD!!!", but he is still better than Sanjaya. Plus, duh, there is the added bonus of the name "Head".
I'm pulling for LaQueesha (I know, I know, LaKisha, but QUEESHA is more fun to say). I can't find a picture of her, but that's okay. Instead, I found a picture of SANJAYA (from now on, his name is in all caps) and his sister, who is very pretty. They look like twins!

04 March 2007

Ann Coulter, You Are An Ignorant Slut

'Nuff said, won't waste more energy on that scrawny hole-licker.
Okay, so Grandpa Bill would not approve, but he died yesterday, so his opinion is his own now. Geez, I loved that man. Master of all things Mariachi, and dirty jokes, and WOW was he conservative (but willing to debate, god-luv-'im), and just a great guy all around. Except for his conservativeness, which as I mentioned was a moot point and always a pivotal part of conversation with him. I am crying right now. Off to the funeral service in SoCal soon.

02 March 2007

Quote of the Day

"An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
-Dylan Thomas

I would like to add: "...who drinks as much as you do."

01 March 2007


My results:

Your Number Correct: 24/25
Average Number Correct: 18.38/25
Percentile: 93.95%

I AM NOT DUMB!!! (no, i didn't cheat)