29 January 2007

My Birfday

I am frick-frackin' OLD. Jeeeeeeezus. Take me now...I'm comin' Elizabeth!!

The loveliness awaiting me at home:

After one glass of champagne:

The rejects:

17 January 2007

Judy Judy Judy

A bowl-scrubbing chimp...what a concept!

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. -- An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator.
The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped yesterday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.
As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took a swig from bottles she managed to open.

Keeper Ann Rademacher says Judy went into the bathroom, picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet. Rademacher says the 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before the zoo acquired her in 1988, so she may have been familiar with housekeeping chores. Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.
It took a couple of tries, but the zoo sedated the chimp, who fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.
The zoo veterinarian gave Judy a drug to bring her around. Rademacher says Judy was groggy but fine after the episode.
The zoo says there was no danger Judy would get out of the primate keepers service area and onto zoo grounds.

10 January 2007

I just remembered something SO stupid and SO random that I had to jot it down.

Okay, so in college I had a huge cold sore on my chin, and in class this guy asked me what it was. When I told him it was a "cold sore thingy," he said, "how the hell do you get herpes on your CHIN?"
And I responded, "well, DUH, I practice really safe sex!"
And then I proceeded to laugh hystercially for like 10 minutes even though it wasn't really funny. i was just embarrassed that I had a ginormous herpe on my chin.

Why I thought of that is a mystery, though it may ultimately have something to do with the gross cold sore that I'm sporting on my bottom lip right now. Look how UGLY this is! Lucky for me that my boyfriend is blind. Please pardon the straight-up-the-nose shot...and if you are a sharpie and happen to notice the red spot on my nose, it's a cat wound. Stupid cat.

Oh, and my kid is a weirdo. Yes, those are my maroon cowboy boots, and YES he is wearing leggings and a Black Sabbath t-shirt. Oy.

05 January 2007

Proof of Global Warming....

No, these are not duplicates of the photos I have posted for the past three weeks. It has happened AGAIN. Shoot me now (or shoot me a ticket to the islands...) Through this most recent nightmare, I have doggedly held to my no-drinking resolve. What is WRONG with me?!?? We're walking downtown to Rhumba for cheap happy hour eats this afternoon (after skipping work, oh well), and I may have to break down and have a Mojito Lite (no simple syrup, just club soda and rum and mint). It is Friday, after all.

04 January 2007

Ah, the Joys of Modern Medicine

Back when I worked in the medical field, I heard the truth about the origins of female hormone replacement therapy remedies (menopause drugs) and how they were obtained from pregnant horses. Read about it HERE

They are no longer selling as much of this crap since it has been proven that swallowing the condensed urine of pregnant horses is not a good thing for old ladies. Hence, the horses and the resultant foals are now the ones suffering -- even more so than they were when they were pinned into stalls, pregnant, and being held hostage for something as ridiculous as their PEE. And people in the "third world" are the wild savage heathens?!? (Think: ground-up dried gorilla hands make you more virile, or sun bear bladders give you a 3-day boner.) WHATEVER!! ANyhoo, now the horses are being sold for slaughter. Makes me want to cry when I think of forcing a beautiful animal to spend its life strapped up in a little booth and pissing in a bottle so that one of our own doesn't have to experience hot flashes. Humans suck.

Do something about it at WWW.PMURESCUE.ORG (for whatever reason, Blogger doesn't like the link...)

02 January 2007

Oo-oo Chiiiiild, things are gonna get easier...

Stupid snow. I could handle it if we didn't have ANY MORE for the whole rest of the season!

Bright note: we got a new trash can for the kitchen. Spencer found a novel use for the box...

The Beginning...

The End...