Well thank GOD

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It would really have hurt in so many ways if it had been true. But, still, I'm sort of sad that it's not.

This is rich...

The best part is the third-to-last line. Trust me. I'm wondering what they did with all those "puppies".

Animals Sold Over Internet, Police Say

POSTED: 6:23 am MDT April 26, 2007
LONDON -- Thousands of Japanese residents have been 'fleeced' into buying neatly-groomed lambs they thought were poodles, The Metro newspaper of London reported Thursday.
The lambs were shipped from Great Britain and Australia to Japan by an Internet company advertising them as poodle puppies.
According to the newspaper, a Japanese actress suspected a scam after her "poodle" didn't bark and wouldn't eat dog food.
Maiko Kawakami showed photographs of her pet on a Japanese television talk show and found out it wasn't a dog -- but was in fact a lamb.
Authorities believe as many as 2,000 people have been conned.
'We launched an investigation after we were made aware that a company was selling sheep as poodles,' a police spokesman told The Sun newspaper.
One couple found out the truth only after a dog groomer told them she could not trim their poodle's claws because they were hooves.
The "poodles" sold for as much as $1,200, about half the price of poodle puppies in Japan.
The company, whose name translated as Poodles As Pets, has been shut down.

Here....

A photo (reproduced withOUT permission, mind you) of my friend Tara (on the right) and Webster. He was hanging out on the Rez or something. Maybe it was a benefit. Regardless, it's WEBSTER. And, as a bonus, if you look really closely you will notice that the chika on the left is showing an awful lot of boobage. Yowza.

Big Heavy {SIGH}

Winter storm warning remains in effect until 6 am mdt wednesday,
A winter storm warning remains in effect until 6 am mdt wednesday.
Heavy snow will develop in the mountains and foothills this morning and continue through Tuesday night. Total snow accumulations of 1 to 2 feet are expected by Wednesday morning.
Residents in the foothills should plan on heavy snowfall through tonight with travel becoming difficult especially in the higher foothills. Be prepared for possible power outages from downed tree limbs and power lines.

R.I.P., Peep

We took Peep to the vet this morning and had him put to sleep. Such nice words for what is essentially just killing them. Whatever. He was ready to go and went very peacefully and quickly after getting the shot. He didn't complain about anything, and the vet was very very nice. I guess it went as well as it could have gone, though of course I sobbed hysterically throughout. I will miss him an awful lot...he was my companion for my entire adult life!! What a personality he had, and what a brave guy to deal with his pain the way he did for the last several weeks. Not that you want to, but if you click on the picture of him by himself, you can see the lovely tumor he had on his side. YUCK. He doesn't look very well in these photos, but he still looks a lot better than he did for the past few days. He will be missed more than I can say.

Day Five

and I about to BREAK THIS BITCH. Moving for 18+ hours now, and when I say 'moving', I mean hauling somebody else's punk-ass shit down three flights of stairs and down the block and then up another flight of stairs, and this includes big boxes of books. I took a short respite for "sleep" last night -- mostly I just cried about the cat all night long and, when I did sleep, I dreamed about digging cat-sized holes in a mountainside. And aforementioned cat's death ceremony is scheduled for Monday at 9:00 am. I wouldn't be surprised if he dies before then. Selfishly, I kinda wish that would just die, because then I would feel so much better about it...playing God is not one of my fortes. As it stands right now, I took the whole day off because I know that afterward I will be inconsolably humming and rocking in the corner like a crazy person, or else I will slam my face into a brick wall instead. Either way, post-drama, it's not a professional look.

Anyhoo, I am going to happy hour this evening with a vengeance, and then I'm going home to take sleeping pills...it's not what you think, I'm talkin' Excedrin PM here...and sleep the peaceful sleep of someone with too much on her mind who has just mixed drugs and alcohol.
I'm almost salivating at the thought............droooooooooooooool.......

14 inches of thick white fun...

Expect pictures of storm #432 of the winter, the one that weill smush my pea plants and piss me off the most royally!

www.kmgh.com for the latest forecast....

Day Three

I have realized tin these past three days that I'm a huge alcoholic pussy. (Doesn't that bring a lovely visual to your mind??) Yesterday I was saying to myself (and anyone else who would listen): "Dang, my life is like the movie Airport...'dammit, I sure picked the wrong week to quit drinking!'"'

And it's true.

My department is moving to a new office on Friday, and my cat is dying. Not to mention that my house is a mess, I don't get enough exercise, and I allow my hatred of George Bush to destroy at least two minutes of my (very valuable) life every single day. Like throwing money down the toilet.

But the most important issues are the

Cat: diabetes, kidney issues, and arthritis, and he's 19 and he poops under the desk and can't pee and has to be given fluids so that he doesn't just wither away on the living room floor like a beeve in the desert sun. And, as is dictated by the evilness that just might possibly be George Bush, of course he's totally mentally perky and cute and loves us all with every creaky bone in his wasted body. I feel like someone is ripping my heart out every time I think of the decision I have to make. He is the only living creature that has managed to stay by my fickle asshole side for more than 17 years. This includes my parents and that pesky alien Kazoo.

and the

Move: what a logistical nightmare. Desks, chairs, movers, painters, boxes, tape, too much crap, NO BEER NO FUCKING BEER FUCK FUCK FUCK, and people who are unhappy with their new work spaces. Bah humbug. It's supposed to snow on Friday, because God hates me (no, wait...

...God LOVES me!! ANyhoo, snow and rain and probably the moving guys don't speak English, so how in the hell am I going to make them understand that they have to take stuff down the elevator, out the front door, load it in the truck, and then drive it around to the alley because they have to unload it all at our new building (which is next door) but they aren't allowed to use the front door of that building because the steps there are soapstone and they might get chipped?!??!?! Shit dag.

Snow forecast for this weekend.

Click on the picture. Man, I wish I would have thought of this when we had 4 feet in the front yard (for a frackin' MONTH)!

Today is the first day of the rest of my...

Will and I have decided to stop drinking (!) until Vegas. Hence, the countdown begins. May 15 is when I leave Denver. There is so much stress in my life right now that I can't believe I even agreed to this, but then again it's probably the best time to quit. Better for the mental health and all that shit. The thing is, my nightly wine is SUCH a ritual that it's scary to think of how I'm going to change it. Somehow, in the past few years, I have developed a habit wherein, once Spencer is in bed, I light a fire in the fireplace, light some incense, pour a big fat glass of wine, and have my nightly smoke while watching a TLC or Discovery Channel show that inevitably makes me cry. I guess that this habit first came into play when Spencer was a bit younger and I was a bit lonelier. Anyhoo, time to stop it. I often feel guilty about it, which doesn't contribute positively to my stress level in general. In a perfect world, I would take this opportunity to get in shape, start an exercise program, do more volunteer work, or whatever, but it's all I can do right now to quit smoking and drinking, and I think that's enough. It's going to suck a whole lot, which is how it is with most things that are good for you. Hopefully I don't end up pregnant...hey, I have to do SOMETHING to keep my mind busy!

More on the Gourd...

Randonly sent to me today...charming. And yee haw, that's the biggest one I've seen yet!!

Perhaps Sanjaya is available to model....

To see the greatest swimsuits in the history of mankind, start HERE and continue clicking NEXT in the lower right of the screen. The rewards multiply exponentially.