5 years ago today...

...Spencer and I had returned home from New York on Setpember 10th. For whatever reason, I got up early on the 11th and turned on the TV...which is something that I NEVER do! And there it was, right before the first plane struck, when it was circling the building...and after it hit, and all the drama, I was screaming "the building is going to FALL!" and no one was listening. Katie Couric couldn't have paid less attention to me even though I was trying desperately to get her to tell everyone to get out of those buildings. When I was finally done watching, I got up like a robot and took Spencer to preschool because I had to. I couldn't keep him at home with me and have him watching. He thought it was a movie.
After I dropped him off at school, I was driving to work and all of the sudden, all the cars on the road just STOPPED and I started to cry, thinking that I had dropped off my baby with other people and now we were both going to die, apart from each other. And then I noticed that a herd of deer were crossing the road and that's why everyone stopped their cars.
I still have noticeable heart palpitations when I hear a plane flying low. I wonder what the survivors in New York and the Pentagon feel when they hear the rumble of a jet or see a lot of smoke. If I had been there, I would be in a stratijacket to this day.