Bailey in Bailey

I can't even talk about this yet. <"Platte Canyon High School">

The kids are okay (Bailey goes to the high school and Dono & Faith are at the middle school). It's just so sad. Secretly (not any more, I guess), I'm glad the lunatic died. The fact that the student died, too, is horrendous. Having something like this hit so close to home -- and so hard -- makes life just a little bit scarier. Thank god the Kids are okay.

When the situation at Columbine happened, I was horrified but didn't think that it affected me the way that I now know that it did. PTSD all the way! But it's selfish to think of myself... I for sure haven't been the foremost thought in my own mind. All I can think is: Imagine what the kids in Bailey were going through all day (an still)-- most of them remember April 20, too.

Self-Doubt -- esta NO BUENO!

Okay, I guess I was right. Again. Why on earth did I doubt myself??? I just might be the next Miss Cleo!! My gut intuition is stunning, if I may say so myself. LOL

Check it out: http://entertainment.msn.com/celebs/article.aspx?news=235655>1=7701

I'm so thrilled that I forget how to make a real link, so just shut up and cut & paste!!

Still COOL

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Come on y'all let's take a ride
Don't ya say shit just get inside
It's time to take your ass on another kind of trip
Cuz you can't have the hop if you don't have the hip
Grab you gat with the extra clip
And close your eyes and hit the switch
We're going to a place where everybody kick it, kick it, kick it
Yea that's the ticket
Ain't no bloodin
ain't no crippin
ain't no punk ass niggaz set trippin'
Everybody got a stack and it ain't no crack
And it really don't matter if you're white or black
I wanna take you there like the Staple Singers
Put something in the tank, and I know that I can bring ya
If ya can't take the heat get ya ass out the kitchen
We on a mission

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage
Slide, slide slippity slide
I'm hittin switches on the block in a 65
Come along and ride on fantastic voyage
Slide slide hoo ride, ain't no valley low enough or mountain high

I'm tryin to find a place where I can live my life and
Maybe eat some steak with my beans and rice
A place where my kids can play outside without livin in fear of a drive by
And even if I get away from them drive by killaz
I still gotta worry about those snitch ass niggaz
I keep on searchin and I keep on lookin
But niggaz are the same from Watts to Brooklyn
I try to keep my faith in my people
But sometimes my people be actin like they evil
You don't understand about runnin with a gang
Cause you don't gang bang
And you don't have to stand on the corner and slang
Cause you got your own thang
You can't help me if you can't help yourself
You better make a left

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage
Slide, slide slippity slide
I do what I do just to survive
Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage
Slide slide hoo ride, that's why I pack my 45

Life is a bitch and then you die
Still trying to get a piece of that apple pie
Every game ain't the same cause the game still remain
Don't it seem kinda strange ain't a damn thing changed
If you don't work then you don't eat
And only down ass niggaz can ride with me
Hip hop hop your 45 quickly down the block
Stay sucker free and keep the busters of your jock
You gotta have heart son if you wanna go
Watch this sweet chariot swing low
Ain't nobody crying ain't nobody dyin
Ain't nobody worryin everybody's tryin
Nothing from nothin leaves nothin
If you wanna have somethin you better stop frontin
What you gonna do when the 5 rolls by
You better be ready so you can ride

Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage
Slide slide slippity slide if you're living in the city it's do or die
Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage
Slide slide hoo ride you better be ready for the 5 rolls by

Just roll along (that's what you do)
Just roll along (that's right)
Just roll along (that's what you do)
Just roll along (that's right)

Do you want to ride with me
(REPEAT 9 TIMES)

DD SENSOR

Let it be known, right here and right now...that I am currently seeking a patent on the Drunk Dialing Sensor for Cellular Phones. In essence, you must blow your breath into the phone to get it to operate...if you blow "hot", then the phone won't work. Of course there are some strategical issues, such as getting a not-so-hammered friend to start the phone for you, but I can only babysit to a certain extent!!

If some nerd out there actually goes and invents this thing, even as a gag, I GET HALF (Eddie) because I thought of it first. Sarah, we'll split it!

Dreams I'll Never See

nice how the most recent lucid dream involved my face on all the tabloids with the screaming headline "SHE ABANDONED HER CHILD IN HIS TIME OF NEED!!!" Ugly, over-the-shoulder picture with a mullet and black eyeliner. WTF??? I woke up and wrote it down but it's haunting me even now, so maybe I don't want to write it out in detail.

Estes Park, 9-24-06

We went up to Estes expecting to miss the bugling elk, since they supposedly only do their thing between dusk and dawn, but there they were in the middle of the day! We got MUCH closer than you can tell from the photos; my camera pooped out mid-way down the hill, so I didn't get any close-up shots. What a bummer!! Anyway, check out the sky and snow and colors...very nice!!

I have some more pictures but don't have time to download them until tomorrow morning...I suppose I really should figure out how those Flikr slideshows work...

Bone Chilling

It's supposed to snow tomorrow. Summer is over and it kills me. I am NOT a fan of the cold. Here is a picture of what it looks like out my office window when there is snow in the foothills:



I found out yesterday that I lost my garden plot due to "negligence" (i.e., heinous amounts of weeds and crappy plants). I'm hoping that I can beg and plead a little and get it back; what's funny is that Spencer and Will and I went over there a few days ago and did a lot of work because we were all feeling guilty about it. It looked SO good at the beginning of the summer! Even in the middle...but toward August, it became overwhelming and it was much more enjoyable to sit at home in the evenings and drink wine instead of root around in a mess of weeds and bugs. That's what I get for being a lazy ass. I have pictures of it but they are on my PC, which gave up the ghost last week and won't even turn on now. Anyhoo, when I got that letter from Growing Gardens, I felt like the shittiest person on earth! Oh well.

Here is a recent dream. I may have already posted it, I don't know:

Walking down the sidewalk, I came upon a sort of courtyard between two buildings. The walls were studded with Mexican tiles…I walked between the buildings and in about twenty feet, the ocean was lapping up…I was on the shore. I played around in the water for a while with Spencer and then went into a beach house. Mike Senterfit was there and he was a dentist. I told him I had a toothache and he checked and said that I needed a “cap.” He squirted this orange stuff, like Cheese Whiz, into the tooth and then covered it all with white dental clay. He told me to hang out for about an hour to let it dry, and so I just lay there and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. Then, people started coming in (there were others there the whole time; it was like a clinic) and reggae music was blasting from the other room and black people were dancing all over. I was very concerned that the clay would dry in a big huge lump so I kept pushing it around with my tongue. I woke up thinking it was still on my tooth.

I have the weirdest dreams.

For the last time, CRIKEY!

This: Farewell was the saddest thing. I didn't always agree with Mister Irwin's hands-on, grabby, dramatic tactics, but he was entertaining indeed, and I did learn some things from him. That Bindi Sue sure is a self-contained little girl...to, at age 8, read a eulogy to her father in front of several thousand people without faltering...I could never do it!

I have a lovely picture of Steve and family, but for some reason I can't upload photos from my desktop...argh...

Naming Baby

I have a guess...Anna's Nicole's baby will have the name "Daniel" somewhere in it; as in "Daniela K. Stern"...

UPDATE: apparently, my premonition was wrong...it has been confirmed that Howard K. Stern is NOT the baby daddy. Though I'm sure that he wants to be, kind of in the same way that Mark Karr wanted to be the one who garrotted Jon-Benet. Icky.

Fashion Police

Okay, I admit it, sometimes I am a hideously awful bitch. I gossip and talk about other people behind their backs...but only when I don't know them! So last week I was sitting in the dentist's office waiting for Spencer, and I saw the most fascinating thing. I mean, I was MESMERIZED. Here is the rundown, starting from the feet:

*Black Reebok tennis shoes, circa 1984
*Ankle socks with little bow-tied teddy bears all over them
*Jeans (too short, of course), the kind with no pockets in front or back and an elastic waistband ("stretch")
*(this is the BEST) a concert t-shirt, red, with MEATLOAF 2002 in huge black letters
*(wait, maybe THIS is the best) a dog collar, not the punk kind but the nylon kind, with a bone-shaped real dog tag hanging from it (not a military dog tag, either)
*Metal barrettes holding back the ponytail hair escapees

I was trying really hard not to let her see me stare. I know -- I just KNOW -- that dog tag is from her beloved little Fluffy, who died tragically while choking on a pair of her underwear, no doubt.

When her man came out from the examining room, I was both pleasurably horrified and slightly queasy upon noting that he was sporting a most killer mullet and wore black stone-washed jeans.

Anna Nicole's Saga...

Okay, I am no fan of Anna Nicole Smith, though her stupid TV show was actually entertaining sometimes (if you like watching train wrecks). But GEEZ, to have a baby and three days later lose your older child, now that's just not okay no matter who you are. I don't care how her son died, really, whether it was suicide or drugs or natural causes...the fact is that a mother lost a son during an otherwise hugely happy (and hormonal) time in her life...I hope she can hold it together, for the sake of the baby. Too sad.

Oh, and I HOPE that the father of Anna's baby isn't a) Howard K Stern or b) related to her by any manner of weird hillbilly blood-lineage. Have you SEEN her relatives???? Yikes. There's that one cousin with no teeth and a tattoo of Anna Nicole on her arm...a TATTOO of her own COUSIN...too classy. LOL

5 years ago today...

...Spencer and I had returned home from New York on Setpember 10th. For whatever reason, I got up early on the 11th and turned on the TV...which is something that I NEVER do! And there it was, right before the first plane struck, when it was circling the building...and after it hit, and all the drama, I was screaming "the building is going to FALL!" and no one was listening. Katie Couric couldn't have paid less attention to me even though I was trying desperately to get her to tell everyone to get out of those buildings. When I was finally done watching, I got up like a robot and took Spencer to preschool because I had to. I couldn't keep him at home with me and have him watching. He thought it was a movie.
After I dropped him off at school, I was driving to work and all of the sudden, all the cars on the road just STOPPED and I started to cry, thinking that I had dropped off my baby with other people and now we were both going to die, apart from each other. And then I noticed that a herd of deer were crossing the road and that's why everyone stopped their cars.
I still have noticeable heart palpitations when I hear a plane flying low. I wonder what the survivors in New York and the Pentagon feel when they hear the rumble of a jet or see a lot of smoke. If I had been there, I would be in a stratijacket to this day.

May-December

I now see just how much older than Will I really look. Ugh. I'm going to the doctor today; perhaps I should ask for some Fountain of Youth Soda. The saddest part is that I just look so TIRED and Bette Midler-y. Will looks very handsome, I must say.

I am PSYCHIC

I'm starting to think that I should look into becoming a police investigator, or maybe the next Miss Cleo. See post from Sept. 1, then...

Check this out: BREAKING NEWS!!

Some Pictures of My Little Baby Boy

CRIKEY!! Bummer....

My beloved Steve Irwin, he of the mullet and squished balls in the khaki shorts, has perished. Steve Irwin Dies at 44

At least he died doing something he loved, as opposed to standing in line at the DMV.

Marine GOES AWOL!!

Read the story: Marine Lost in Eldorado Canyon

Tell me this guy didn't go AWOL. I thought something was fishy from the very beginning...I mean, c'mon, who goes free-climbing in a rugged canyon at 1:00 am??!?!