Pictures

These are all pretty random: Indra, age 2; Jacob, 18 months, and his mom, Sarah; flowers Will brought me last week...the one I like best is Jacob chatting up some guy he plopped down next to at a show at the Bandshell...

SOOOOOOOOOOULL PATROOOOOOOOL!!!!

YAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYY! Taylor won! He actually WON! How weird that I met his friends last winter and they were amazed that he even got on the show, not because of his talent but because he's a nutball...and here he is, the NEXT AMERICAN IDOL, up there with Gayken, who, by the way, was the gayest of all gays on the show tonight. Gayken's number one fan -- some freak who never made it past the first round -- was on the show because he won an award for being the biggest freak of all (that is not gay-ist, by the way), and he just MIGHT be slightly gayer than Gayken, but whatever. I would put a picture of Taylor here right now but all the websites are jammed up...

I discovered a weight loss program today. I'll call it FAT CYNDY'S FATTY FATNESS WEIGHT LOSS PLAN. Here it is (I should charge for this, but I'm trying to redeem myself for the ticket to hell I bought today for saying that Miss Cornelia could squish someone like a bug (see below)): 1) Get someone to take a picture of you, white-skinned, in winter, wearing a bathing suit, sitting by the pool, side-view, in Orlando. 2) Look at that picture. You will never eat anything again, I promise you. Shit.

Ummm...why did she bother with the can??

No one that big needs to use a can of Raid to clobber anyone or anything! She should have just jumped on them...but then she's be charged with capital murder instead of mere assault! (Yes, I'm going to hell on the express bus for saying that, but I don't care. It's funny.)

Police: Wife Attacks Husband, Mistress With Bug Spray Can

ATHENS, Ala. -- An Alabama woman is accused of turning a can of bug spray on her cheating husband and the other woman.
Cornelia Cottrell Smith, 26, faces a charge of domestic violence. Police Sgt. Trevor Harris said a "nosy neighbor" called Smith at work to say her husband was with another woman in the couple's apartment. The woman left work and went home where she found the two together.
Officers said Smith grabbed a can of Raid and clobbered the cheating pair. She's charged with hitting both her husband and the other woman in the head with the insecticide. Police said the woman needed stitches for a head wound, and the husband was also cut but didn't require medical treatment.
Smith has been released after posting $1,000 bond.

TayLOR TayLOR TayLOR

He's gonna win. Anyhoo...I have new photos but forgot my cable to download them. I guess I'll have to do it from home, on my own time...geesh. Isn't that what work is for, to do your private business and get paid for it?!? :-)

Reminder to self:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Jesus Freaks!

My friend Andre's newest book...check it out!!

New Home...

Here's our new duplex. Upgrades to be made and it's too small, but whatever, we can't afford a palace in the Boulder housing market! (Note to all rich single men who are passably goodlooking and have at least a small number of brain cells dedicated to something other than ogling pretty women and snorting blow: LET'S TALK!) :-)

Katia baby pictures

Again, perhaps it's illegal to copy them from another site, but I wanted to put them someplace where they won't get lost! Maybe I'll just ask someone... :-)

???

Sarah sent me this:

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long
would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill
pickle? --Tom Robbins

We don't get it.

BWAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA

HAYWARD, Calif. -- Police said they arrested a man who spent five hours naked and stuck in the chimney of his stepmother's California home.
Police said Michael Urbano locked himself out of the house early Saturday morning and decided to get in on a cable TV wire through the chimney.
He told police he thought taking off his clothes would help ease his way down the chimney.
But the cable wire broke and Urbano fell, getting stuck about three-quarters of the way down. He was freed when a firefighter pushed him up to safety.

Urbano was arrested on suspicion of being under the influence of drugs.

Baby is born...

...and she is ADORABLE. No name divulged as of yet... I coped this picture from Katia's friend's blog, I hope that's not illegal!

Strength to Katia

She's having a baby RIGHT NOW!! Send love and thoughts...and lots of energy...

Zoo Photos

These are here because a) I am too retarded to figure out how to attach a photo album on here, b) because I am too retarded to figure out iPhoto, and 3) because I'm in a hurry (the short bus is waiting)....

FINALLY...SHAGGY'S ROAMING HAND!!!

Here it is, folks, Shaggy's hand on the trail to resting RIGHT ON MY BOOB, which is what it did about 1.3 seconds after this picture was taken. I would have sued but I didn't want to have to go back to Florida for the trial.

Girls Gone Wild

Okay, not so much...but we DID have wine!! The lighting is AWFUL, so sorry!

Is Garlic a Hallucinogen?

Last night I experienced weird and vivid dreams, about parties where Kevin from American Idol handed out credit cards, and concerts where 5 or 6 bands were all playing at the same time (it was very noisy!), and political uprising in Nepal, and being at home in Oxford eating pie and ice cream in the kitchen while waiting for my parents to come home from a trip.
On Saturday night, I had a VERY lucid dream about a major storm, that I watched go from driving rain to a tidal wave welling up across the bakyard. Things were strewn about everywhere and there was snow involved. I recall my dad walking through the front door and saying he almost died coming home from Sacramento (flying? driving? who knows).
Anyhoo, both nights I ate a ridiculous amount of garlic and I'm wondering if there's a correlation there.

Karma Chameleon quote

Quote of the Day:

If I ever met karma in person and she turned out to be a crippled orphan with a tiny duckling nestled in her arms, I'd still kick
her in the head until she stopped moving.

ISN'T THAT LOVELY??

Hump Day

It's amazingly lovely in Boulder today (75, sunny, bright slue sky), to the point where I am blowing off everything else I COULD be doing, and instead going to happy hour somewhere that has a patio. Boulder Cafe, probably, though it will be crowded and Spencer will hate every minute. Too bad I don't have my camera, to take pictures of us on the Mall.

Speaking of Spencer, I had a revelation yesterday that made me cry. He is too old to sleep with me now. He's still a little kid, but he's 9 and that's too old. Also I can't bite his butt any more without risking intensive therapy on his part when he's a teenager. This is almost too much for me to bear...it makes me want another one, so I can start all over again. I would make certain to take it so much more slowly...

Back from Disney!

I have some very festive things to write about my trip to the wonderful world of Disney (ugh); however, I'm at work right now and it wouldn't be prudent to spend the time it would take to relate the stories of Crazy Neighbor Lady, Hairy Arm Guy, Wacky Belinda, The Swan, and Shaggy Has His Hand on My Boob! Therefore, I will have to fill in the blanks at another time. I also have a couple of pictures (yes, there's a can-I-get-a-witness picture of Shaggy and his roaming hand!) but will need to get off my ass and load the software on to my computers. Everything in my personal life has fallen so far by the wayside that I feel like I live in a vortex...the saddest part is my house, which is a nightmare wreck and we're literally living out of boxes and pulling clothes from piles...Spencer's dresser is empty!! :-( I think I will operate a lot more functionally when we move to a more permanent place and I feel like I can actually unpack the suitcases and put away the clothes...there's no point in doing it now since we're moving in less than three months!!

M-I-C-K-E-Y (WHY? Because we LIKE you!)

I'm off in the morning for the technicolor, tacky, and oh-so-all-American land of Disney in lovely Lake Buena Vista (aka, Orlando, to the rest of us), Florida. I don't expect to be having too much fun since I'll be attending a conference the whole time, but of course I bought a new bathing suit (see above, no pic available of the bottom, but it's bright pink boy shorts) and sandals any way. I'm suffering immense and unreasonable amounts of guilt that Spencer isn't coming with me (it's spring break, after all), but I keep trying to remind myself that I will be busy literally the entire time I'm there, and he would have to spend the weekend with a sitter or some Disney childcare cult group of nutballs. Therefore, this isn't the best time for him to come along with me on a trip....even if it IS to Disney at Spring Break time...
Anyhoo, I finally got some new batteries for my camera and will take pictures galore while I'm there. We have a night at Epcot and another at Universal Studios International Avenue, so there are a few photographic opportunities available. I won't be sad to leave the weather in Boulder for a few days. It has been cold and snowy and grey, and you know how much us Coloradans like to bitch when we have one gloomy day, so the 'tude has been decidedly negative around town. Luckily for me, it's supposed to be nice and warm by the time I get home on Saturday!

Monday Monday

Okay, so it's Monday again. Due to the fact that this Monday morning was the same as every one of my Monday mornings - Murphy's Law Monday, I like to say - I opted to stay in bed for a couple hours past the usual rising time. Spencer wasn't feeling well, there was ice on the streets, I immediately dropped my water cup when I first got up...for all these reasons and more, it seemed safer to stay home for a while. For two hours I read the Oscar-edition People magazine from cover to cover. This is unusual for me because normally I would rather stick a hot poker in my eye than read about spoiled rich people's parties. Lately, for "real" entertainment, I've been reading a book called "Devil in the Details", which is about a woman who suffered from scrupulosity (a form of OCD) in her childhood. She's very candid about everything and it's quite amusing.

I bought a digital camera on Saturday -- woo hoo!! Hopefully some day I'll learn how to use it and download the software and all that fun stuff. Then, I'm sure that I'll develop an obsession (though not scrupulous) with posting a million photos of Spencer and lots of stupid shit, too. I took a few shots on Saturday night and realized that not only have I lost my ability to write stream-of conciousness style, I have also become dreadfully non-artistic with my photography, too.

Funny weekend story: Will and I were in Wild Oats at about 10 am on Saturday, buying breakfast stuff and Pop-Tarts (they're not just for breakfast anymore!)...our check-out guy was about 35 and a total spaz, the kind of Boulder guy who could either be on Ritalin or just be high on life, you can never tell without asking. Anyway, so we had paid and were gathering up the bags when the guy bounces past us and says to Will, REALLY LOUDLY, "Hey, take good care of the babysitter, man!" I was almost all the way to the car, with my mouth hanging open the whole time, before I could say anything. Will wanted to go kill the guy later, but at the time we were both too shocked to do anything other than laugh hysterically. I guess I must look older than I think I do. It doesn't help any that Will cut his hair and got contacts...now he looks 12 instead of 20.

Oh, geez, I almost forgot...on Saturday night, I met a lovely couple from Auburn, AL, named Katie and Jonathon. They have two kids, Isabella, who is 4, and Pace, who is 1. And here's the kicker: THEY KNOW TAYLOR HICKS. How crazy is that??? It's funny because I am all amazed that they know him, and they're in shock that he's on TV every week. They said that he sounds pretty good on AI but that he's much much better with his own band playing in a bar.